Three days ago, Nigerians in Australia woke up to the shocking news that a 33-year-old Nigerian-Australian, Stanley Obi was fighting for his life at a Queensland hospital after his ex-partner and mother of his 3 children, Sarah Mudge, 30, callously and in a seemingly premeditated manner entered his residence around 3AM, doused him with petrol and set ablaze the house he was sleeping in with his new partner and their 3 young children. A day after, Stanley who sustained 90% burn to his body didn’t make it and died with his hopes, dreams and aspirations.
Luckily, his new partner and the 3 children survived but the lone suspect and ex-partner died in the house fire. The couple were known to the domestic violence unit of the local police and Stanley had 3 days prior won the custody battle to keep their children which may have infuriated his ex-partner, leading to this dastardly and nefarious act of revenge or murder-suicide. She had reportedly threatened in a Facebook post, ” I will kill him if he takes my children”. While police is investigating, what is certain is that the life of this young, ambitious Nigerian-Australian Registered Nurse ( RN) has been snuffed out prematurely.
Nothing will bring him back. Worse still, there is no one alive to punish as the lone suspect also died in the fire.
Domestic violence can unacceptably be perpetrated by anyone and has no gender or class restrictions. Relationships ending can be traumatizing for many, but resorting to violence will not bring about emotional healing and recovery. Perhaps there are better escape routes than the path of violence if you speak up and speak out on time. Three young children have been orphaned by the decision of their mother. They will grow up with relatives or government appointed surrogate parents with lots of unanswered traumatizing questions that may see them seeking answers without answers.
We must stand in unity to demystify domestic violence because there are no socio-economic boundaries and victims and perpetrators could be your friend, colleagues or neighbors. If you see something or hear something, say something and do something. Silence is an enabler of domestic violence and sometimes being caught in the web makes escape difficult.
We must work within our spheres of influence and galvanize people of like minds against the scourge of domestic violence which is more pervasive in society than most of us can imagine. If you find youself in a domestic violence situation, ending your life and the lives of those you love or once loved is not the way to go. Walking out before things escalate may be a wiser thing to do
