In a story that has sent tongues wagging a Dangamvura man recently left his wife of 13 years after his sexual tryst with a popular lady of the night ended up with him chasing her away.
This was revealed during a family meeting to resolve the issue as Moses Munyaka (35) openly blurted out that he no longer wanted his wife Sekani Munyaka (30) as he had found someone else who could literally dance rhumba during the baby making act thus quenching his long suffering thirst.
His parents were extremely embarrassed by his utterances and when they tried to reason with him he then insisted that he was not willing to continue sleeping with a ‘corpse’ whilst out there were some very sexually gifted women like MaGumbo the sex vendor who bamboozled him with her sexual artistry. Seems like she is the Monalisa of the hide my sausage game.
According to Moses he had explored MaGumbo’s lower body tunnel on multiple occasions and on all of them she would perform stunts on his pipito that he never knew existed. He says her waist is so flexible that he would be left bellowing like a bull in heat as the adept honey jar vendor did her thing. She seems to know how to operate his joystick during their sexual PlayStation games.
To add insult to injury a rather buoyant Moses also stunned the family gathering when he mocked his wife telling her to go and stay at Nyaradzo Funeral parlour and when his uncle tried stopping him he indicated that sleeping with her was no different from sleeping with a corpse as she would just lie down and start counting spiders on the ceiling until he empties his manly tanks.
We caught up with Moses and asked for a comment to which he said, “Vanhu vemapaper monetsa nekuda nyaya dzisinei nemi. Anyway zvamakanzwa ndizvozvo ini ndakutogara naMaGumbo and everyday ndirikuseva neliver zvangu coz mwana uya akachimaster chigame chacho, kuita kunge ane chiuno cherubber kudaro.”
Its rather unfortunate we have no way of proving all this and our job is to just report it as it is so all we can say is let the band play on……in this case let the rhumba play on then.
